november fifth two thousand nine.

"do you think you can handle sad news?" my grama said to me over the phone.

"no.. tell my mom." i replied. i said this because i do not react well, i either over react or under react, as nothing fully hits me right away...

i stood anxiously for five minutes in the same room as this conversation took place. i took enough out of the one sided speaking to understand, today, november fifth somebody in my life died.

he wasn't directly related to me in any way.. but he was a part of my early childhood. he lived with my grandma for a very long time, in a house i called the blue house; named aptly because it was blue. i don't have exact chronology. but up untill about the time that i was eight he lived in the basement of my grandma's house, we called him papa. he was a huge part of my early life, as i spent a lot of time at my grama's house. he gave me toonies every time he saw me, im sure he was the fuel to the many video games i purchased for my playstation two.. maybe this is a memorial, maybe this is a part of my little greiving process, who knows.. but rest in peace walter..