holy busy batman!

over the past week or so, i've been super super super busy!
between my dad's family, my mom's family, work, and my social life, it's been a hectic last little while.
ohwell, the holidays are practically over. :) good times good times. <3

global warming rant? i think so.

honestly, i can't believe how some can think that global warming is a bigger problem than war, or a corrupted government system. think about it, the earth goes through ice ages [and warm periods] every couple hundred thousand years, resulting in massive climate change. what we call, 'global warming' is simply that said climate change happening rapidly. not to sound ignorant, naive, etc. but i have no hope in the whole of the earth coming together, making peace and solving this big problem. we are all trying,  making compromises, laws, by-laws etc. but in my eyes it's simply not good enough, but oh well, whatcha' gonna do? anyways, my biggest point in all of this is people are freaking out over this global warming thing, where they really shouldn't; if the earth is going to change it most likely will, no matter what.

at any rate, war and corrupted government seem way higher on my priority list. 

agree- ? disagree- ? retort- ?

put it in the comment box ;)

:)

dyed my hair, supposed to be dark brown,

kind of looks black.. oh well, i still look fan-fucking-tastic :)

i roll up my sleeves, and get to work.

"when the going gets rough and i feel like i may fall; i'll look on the brightside, im roughly six feet tall."

this is my secret, to my happiness. : ) i subconsciously find the silver lining, most times without noticing, and sometimes i just don't at all; but that's rare. i guess as my mind does it without knowing, anyone can introduce this into their lives. if you are confident, and you see silver linings. congratulations, you have the basis for general happiness : ) this may not even be the exact reason for my ability to blow off emotional events, the way i can snap back from what would seem like depression in under an hour, etc. but i sure seem to think so, and what's wrong with a little extra confidence and optimism anyway. : ) so, i ask you to simply try it out, or not; whatever makes you happy ; )

i just can't get enough, :)

just as the title says, i just can't get enough.   i have way too much fun when we're together, and as much as i have way too much fun, i just can't get enough. 'fo. serious.' i love being around you, not much else is a priority at that point, :) your my part time lover, and my full time friend, :) as long as you want me around, i will always want to be around you, :) the next little while i will have to be without you, for a short amount of two weeks, which i know shouldn't be that much of a big deal, but this is going to be a loooong two weeks... :[

plant my lips where your necklace is closed,

it's the way that you blush when you're nervous, it's your ability to make me earn this. i know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep. it's about how you laugh out of pity, 'cause let's be honest, i'm not really that funny; i know that you're shy, just let me sing you to sleep. if you need anything, just say the word, i mean anything. rest assured, if you start to doze, then i'll tuck you in; plant my lips where your necklace is closed. it's those pills that you don't need to take; medicating perfection, now that's a mistake. i know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep. it's your finger, and how I'm wrapped around it. it's your grace, and how it keeps me grounded; i know that you're weak just let me sing you to sleep. if you need anything, just say the word, i mean anything, rest assured, if you start to doze. then I'll tuck you in; plant my lips where your necklace is closed. while you were sleeping, i figured out everything: i was constructed for you and you were molded for me, now i feel your name, coursin' through my veins, you shine so bright, it's insane, you put the sun to shame. if you need anything, just say the word, i mean anything, rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in; plant my lips where your necklace is. if you need anything, just say the word, i mean anything, rest assured, if you start to doze. then I'll tuck you in; plant my lips where your necklace is closed.

this little song, 'lullaby', recorded and written by none other than the _^wonderful^  spill canvas. 

to the boyfrenn. :) --kjk--

the main emotion that i feel when you're around, is happiness; to inform you, i would have never gotten into this if i didn't think it wasn't going to be worth while, and oh boy, it's pretty worth while. you're so easy to be around and be with, it's utterly amazing. your humor, your smile, the way your tongue sticks out when you're concentrating, these are all things i love seeing, and i will be hopefully seeing for a while to come. :) when we're together there is no discomfort, only care; it's hard leaving, and my mood changes once you're gone, a longing for the next time we get to be together, but i guess that's part of this whole dating thing. :P i don't know how i've lived for so long without these feelings i get when, we're together, you say certain things, etc. :) and i know i'm not the most interesting texter, :P but one can only make interesting conversations for so long, :) see ya later kid ;)  (L)

show me your teeth ;) <3

so, lady gaga's new album, aptly named the fame monster is quite amazing. my favorite; besides bad romance, is teeth. a tune infused with a band feel, got a little tuba, a little bollywood back ground, it's good stuff. along with some crazy catchy hooks. ;)  i do dig it. another flirty tune that i like is vanity, it's a good time.

take a bite of my bad girl boy meat, show me your teeth ;)

some other gooders on this album are: 

» so happy i could die

» telephone [ft. beyonce]

» no floods

» fancy pants

boof!

well, it seems to be that i have found a boyfriend, :) im extremely happy with this. <3

simply the best, :)

madlove for the turner woman btw..

music is so influential in our lives, for some it is their lives, literally. some very successful artists started with absolutely nothing, most living with poverty, abuse, addiction, etc. one such very influential artist is anna mae bullock, aka; tina turner.

she is one of the most influential international female artists, as she has been in the music industry for almost fifty years. 

she was born in nutbush, tennesse, in the year 1939. that's right, she is sixty nine years at this very moment, and as of the 26th of november, she will be seventy years old, she definately doesn't look it. 

anna mae's parents left her and her sister behind to live with their grandmother, up untill the age of 16. from there she was reunited with her mother in st. louis, where the world of r&b was opened up for her. ike turner's kings of rythem were playing at a local club one night, low and behold anna mae was called up on stage to sing. from there on band leader ike turner planned to develop anna mae into a five star preformer, her show name was soon changed to tina turner, soon after ike and tina married.

tina soon became known as the power behind the group. ike was described as the ''initial brains'' of the group was otherwise known as a violent, drug-addicted, wife-beater; he was said to beat tina, and other women, publically and privately. tina made hits like, "proud mary" and "nutbush city limits", ike blamed tina because tina was in the spot light, and fame eluded the entirety of the group. years of misery passed, including a failed suicide attempt, and tina had enough, she left the group [and ike]. 

from then on, tina has been extremely successful, still preforming shows, still doing what she does best. :)

november fifth two thousand nine.

"do you think you can handle sad news?" my grama said to me over the phone.

"no.. tell my mom." i replied. i said this because i do not react well, i either over react or under react, as nothing fully hits me right away...

i stood anxiously for five minutes in the same room as this conversation took place. i took enough out of the one sided speaking to understand, today, november fifth somebody in my life died.

he wasn't directly related to me in any way.. but he was a part of my early childhood. he lived with my grandma for a very long time, in a house i called the blue house; named aptly because it was blue. i don't have exact chronology. but up untill about the time that i was eight he lived in the basement of my grandma's house, we called him papa. he was a huge part of my early life, as i spent a lot of time at my grama's house. he gave me toonies every time he saw me, im sure he was the fuel to the many video games i purchased for my playstation two.. maybe this is a memorial, maybe this is a part of my little greiving process, who knows.. but rest in peace walter..

'the stars lean down to kiss you, and i lie awake and miss you.'

hmm, i need more interesting topics to write about, more journalistic topics... as ive realized not everyone is interested in hearing about, me me me... however.. i guess that is what this blog is about, me me me.. i should create another blog, one about current events, interesting deaths, etc... :) but i think im going to have trouble maintaining, or keeping up with events... gah... it would be alot more helpful if i could be assigned topics..as i would probably in a working environment... haha, i can't wait to be a journalist... :) im excited for my life..

standards; not really. more like, not willing to settle...

seeking endlessly for that one person who's going to solve my one problem, i look in the eyes of every person i meet, searching for what i've already found, hoping it will find me again... it's terrible being trapped by something that some people go through life happily without, why can't i not care about having someone or not; although, i don't want to go through that, i want to experiance having someone.

i mean, i know im not ugly, i know that i can attract people.. however, as that may be, it seems to be not working...

love fool, :)

being foolishly in love with the idea of love, is rediculous, especially when there is no such love in my life. not to be confused with a hopeless romantic, as i am hardly hopeless, and nor is there any romanticism in my life. lemme double check, nope; none. still im waiting for that day when i look into the person's eyes who is going to love me as much as i will love them, a balanced love. 50/50, none of this love scales buisness. or has my day already passed and gone? who knows. hopefully there is more than one day for me, although i highly doubt it. i guess i am kind of hopeless afterall.. the correct terms? hopeless love fool? perhaps....

*sniffles* + *sneezes*

so, im sick, nothing major, just a cold probably peppered with a little H1N1.. but everyone else seems to be getting it so.. yeah. i've been quarenteened to my house for five days until i feel better. oh well, lots of time to reflect. not sure how to feel or think anymore about anything concerning former butterflies, or current butterflies. everything is demeaned, and there is no such thing as current butterflies anymore. im left feeling a little scared, i mean it sounds meladramatic to me to think that i will never find love, but it's how i feel... it's currently 1:31  AM. and im sick and full of pizza 73... ughhh... D:

nelson mandela is my hero.

simply stated, nelson mandela, the 1st black president of south africa, this ninety-one year old man, is my hero.


he's gone through so much in his, what we think is long, life. 


he was put in jail for twenty seven years, on robben island; from year 1963 untill year 1990.
the reason? defending what he believes in. now you might say something like, "well that depends what he believes in.." but, he believes in equality, simple equality for african american people. he eventually lifted all apartheid laws. 

he has six children, twenty grand children, and many many many great-grandchildren.. [imagine that, being able to see all of your great grandchildren... ]

all of this heroism, patience, and strength, i admire greatly. you have no idea. if i could chose to turn out like anyone else in this world, it would be nelson mandela.

madlove for the mandela man :)

i just want to be happy--

"i gotta find my place

i wanna hear my sound
don't care about all the pain in front of me

cause i'm just trying to be happy"

 hmm, what is happiness? literally defined it is:  

"delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person."

does it necessarily have to be over something un-specific. how would you define happiness in the context of "to have a happy life" or to be "generally happy"?

personally, i have a generally happy life, i've found joy in my life. but it's continually dampened, by people. people make me sad, not because they make me sad, but their sadness makes me sad. i feel the utmost sympathy for those who i respect deeply.

take this girlie i know for example; my most favorite new parent in the whole wide world, in this particular situation she is 8 and a half months pregnant, and she already has a 2 year old baby girl. her common law spouse is doing some things fround upon intensely. he's fooling around behind this woman's back. she starts crying, sobbing really. i don't get generally sad, but my sympathy overwhelmed me, and i started crying with her.


that's to explain that aspect of my temporary unhappiness. 
untill later, -riley marlow

*death*

why do things like finding out you have no hope to find someone to love, to admire, to even flirt with; make so much sadness?

honestly, i liked two guys, found out they're straight and that ruins everything for me. time to move on, find some other guy to admire then get let down over...

i wish i could find someone. this is starting to get really really stupid.

words of advice.

be. that is simply it, you must be. :) have a nice time pondering this..

buddhists on life.

"life is a journey. death is a return to earth. the universe is like an inn. the passing years are like dust. regard this phantom world as a star at dawn, a bubble in a stream, a flash of lightning in a summer cloud, a flickering lamp - a phantom - and a dream."

i would like to learn the beliefs of buddhism. but alot of it is not what i believe.

i believe in re-incarnation, as silly as it sounds.

but i believe that life is simply a perfection process, and one must go through life's trials until they are completely at ease, and in their eyes, their lives are perfect. and in many to all cases, this takes more than one life. i do not believe in reincarnating into animals, or insects and all that none-sense, but i believe souls are only transferable into human bodies. don't ask me why, i just have a feeling that, that is the way it is. for example, i know some people, who have been told by fortune tellers that they have spent more than 7 lives together, they are no longer together, but perhaps that maybe it is not being with that person that makes their life perfect. at the end of this process, i do not know where one goes, or what happens to your soul, however i believe it's a place where all is good, and complete peace is reached. who knows the correct truth. i still remain agnostic, as i do not know what is right, but what i feel is correct for me is the idea of reincarnation.

through the eyes of a fifteen year old aspiring journalist--

"back here you never lost; you shake the shivers off

you take a drink, to get your courage up, can you believe it?

just this once just for now and just like that it's over"

in my own little voice, i speak. as equally as loud and clear as it is unheard. silent screaming. 

now that were past the little emo words, let's move on to fiction shall we? :)

I walk slowly down the hallway, passing people I know, people I didn't know who existed, and I think. Thinking about things like, who these people are behind this shade of mystery; from things as big as, what problems do they have in their life, or to the most simple tiny thing, such as what kind of music they like to listen to.

It boggles my mind, that behind the face of every person is a soul, with a life, and you will never quite know exactly what it's about. Say at any given stop light in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, there are probably about 2-6 people at that not very busy stoplight every 5 or 10 minutes. Think hard about it, see, one of these people might be late for their job, or, in one car there's a couple who're having a small fight, or maybe one car there's four annoying kids in the back seat. Not saying that most have negative lives, but face it, it's probably true. The one thing that 'miffs' me the most is that I will most likely never ever know exactly what's going on around me at all times, not that it's a control issue, but I feel the need for constant knowledge. Sometimes I feel things, out of no where, whether it be a shiver, or a bad feeling; sometimes I feel that I can tell when someone is extremely angry. I get a negative vibe, or I get bad shivers. I guess in a way, my thirst for knowledge is somewhat quenched by this tiny look into the lives of a stranger.


kind of just realized I went from the beginning of a story, to my thoughts.. oh well, fiction isn't my greatest strength...

--my new favorite number--

so, i have decided that my new favorite number is 3,

for a number of reasons:

1. it's my life number;
   

   "your life path number is 3
   

   
   
   

   your life path number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one.
   

   
   
   

   your life path will allow you to be creative and comfortable with yourself. You will approach life with a bottomless well of optimism. your imagination will inspire you to create, and in time you will come to inspire others."
   

   
   
2. i don't know, i feel a weird connection to the number. it's a lovely number, 4 away from 7, three more and you've got 6, :) it's wonderful.
3. & there are three letters in my nicknames... ril's, rie, etc. <3

late nite lulz!

haha, well hope you get a good giggle out of this <3

nite nite :) read on lovelies!

meow, halloween ♥

my pursuit of happiness.

all of which that i look for is a single soul, a person. 

as i already have my best friend, and she is a soul, and a person, but in her i see different things. i see unconditional, unchanging love, forever youthful, forever great.

i don't understand why i, someone so hidden from this particular love, is so love oriented... some people have things that make them happy, no matter how 'quick fix' it sounds, it still makes them whole, temporarily. mind altering dastardly things, these are not for me i've realized.

what i need, whether it be quick fix or not, is a lover. not looking for sex, looking for someone who makes my legs weak, someone who makes my heart beat extra fast.. looking for love, or 'something like it' is hard to do. 

every single day i wish to settle for someone, someone who likes me back, whether that 'like' can blossom, or wither... but i can't settle, for anything. not that i have standards.. but i think the only way im finding something is through direct eye contact that makes my legs weak. it's terrible.

this 5 foot 8, fifteen year old aspiring journalist, is looking for love, how extremely stupid.

like a puddle ;) - little silly things,

''ooh, like a puddle, splashed for the very first time, like a puddle, when you splash me, with your car."

falling in -something

We drove down the highway, passing tree after tree. "Do you guys want to get ice cream?" My mom had asked, before I could say anything, Lakin, my best friend who had accompanied me and my mother on our roadtrip, exclaimed "YES!" I felt the car slow and turn a corner. I got out, making sure I looked half decent.

We all entered and immediately I felt something, I looked around, seeing nothing special, continued to the ice cream counter, my mom had gone to pay for the ice cream while me and Lakin had gone over to get ice cream. While waiting, I had noticed a guy, a cashier, no longer can I correctly recall exactly what he looked like, but he had dark curly hair. I continued to notice him, off and on. Out of no where, literally no where, he had said to me, "Hey, how's it going?" and smiled, but he had me at "Hey," the moment in time when I looked into his eyes, things had felt, squishy. My vision blurred slightly, and my legs turned to mush, almost exactly how people in movies described it.

Now don't take me for some mushy head who falls for anyone, I have never believed in love at first sight, but as I said, the second our eyes met for the first time, it was like I blacked out. I don't remember replying; I don't remember leaving the store; all I remember is him. However, according to Lakin's account, I had replied and shortly left. This tiny, little few seconds of time in my life, had completely turned everything quixotic. For days and days, that moment was all I could think of, that and questions flew around in my head, questions like: "who are you?" "where are you?" "how can i find you?" etc. Not more than a couple months later, here I am, almost constantly thinking about the moment that I fell in love at first sight, and lost it just as quick..