my pursuit of happiness.

all of which that i look for is a single soul, a person. 

as i already have my best friend, and she is a soul, and a person, but in her i see different things. i see unconditional, unchanging love, forever youthful, forever great.

i don't understand why i, someone so hidden from this particular love, is so love oriented... some people have things that make them happy, no matter how 'quick fix' it sounds, it still makes them whole, temporarily. mind altering dastardly things, these are not for me i've realized.

what i need, whether it be quick fix or not, is a lover. not looking for sex, looking for someone who makes my legs weak, someone who makes my heart beat extra fast.. looking for love, or 'something like it' is hard to do. 

every single day i wish to settle for someone, someone who likes me back, whether that 'like' can blossom, or wither... but i can't settle, for anything. not that i have standards.. but i think the only way im finding something is through direct eye contact that makes my legs weak. it's terrible.

this 5 foot 8, fifteen year old aspiring journalist, is looking for love, how extremely stupid.