So, I can't bring myself to actually cry, but I've been tearing up all night; feelings ranging from serious sadness to neutrality. I can't even lay here and feel nothing... I guess I have nothing to cry about, although it feels as though I should be crying.. This is the most torturous kind of depression, because you can't lay there and get it all out of your system. you can't be an empty shell of nothing. you're you, you're kind of happy, but your unhappy at the same time, it's fucking miserable. ALL I WISH TO DO IS LAY IN BED AND THINK ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD, but i don't feel able to anymore.. :/
tl;dr i'm sad, but not sad enough to be depressed. and it's pissing me off.
I mean, I'm perfectly happy, but I'm not at the same time.. Something is building up inside of me and I can't get it out... I don't know if there's something wrong with me, whether I'm fucked up, or not.. I just.. I need a break. I need to figure myself out.
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