buddhists on life.

"life is a journey. death is a return to earth. the universe is like an inn. the passing years are like dust. regard this phantom world as a star at dawn, a bubble in a stream, a flash of lightning in a summer cloud, a flickering lamp - a phantom - and a dream."

i would like to learn the beliefs of buddhism. but alot of it is not what i believe.

i believe in re-incarnation, as silly as it sounds.

but i believe that life is simply a perfection process, and one must go through life's trials until they are completely at ease, and in their eyes, their lives are perfect. and in many to all cases, this takes more than one life. i do not believe in reincarnating into animals, or insects and all that none-sense, but i believe souls are only transferable into human bodies. don't ask me why, i just have a feeling that, that is the way it is. for example, i know some people, who have been told by fortune tellers that they have spent more than 7 lives together, they are no longer together, but perhaps that maybe it is not being with that person that makes their life perfect. at the end of this process, i do not know where one goes, or what happens to your soul, however i believe it's a place where all is good, and complete peace is reached. who knows the correct truth. i still remain agnostic, as i do not know what is right, but what i feel is correct for me is the idea of reincarnation.

through the eyes of a fifteen year old aspiring journalist--

"back here you never lost; you shake the shivers off

you take a drink, to get your courage up, can you believe it?

just this once just for now and just like that it's over"

in my own little voice, i speak. as equally as loud and clear as it is unheard. silent screaming. 

now that were past the little emo words, let's move on to fiction shall we? :)

I walk slowly down the hallway, passing people I know, people I didn't know who existed, and I think. Thinking about things like, who these people are behind this shade of mystery; from things as big as, what problems do they have in their life, or to the most simple tiny thing, such as what kind of music they like to listen to.

It boggles my mind, that behind the face of every person is a soul, with a life, and you will never quite know exactly what it's about. Say at any given stop light in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, there are probably about 2-6 people at that not very busy stoplight every 5 or 10 minutes. Think hard about it, see, one of these people might be late for their job, or, in one car there's a couple who're having a small fight, or maybe one car there's four annoying kids in the back seat. Not saying that most have negative lives, but face it, it's probably true. The one thing that 'miffs' me the most is that I will most likely never ever know exactly what's going on around me at all times, not that it's a control issue, but I feel the need for constant knowledge. Sometimes I feel things, out of no where, whether it be a shiver, or a bad feeling; sometimes I feel that I can tell when someone is extremely angry. I get a negative vibe, or I get bad shivers. I guess in a way, my thirst for knowledge is somewhat quenched by this tiny look into the lives of a stranger.


kind of just realized I went from the beginning of a story, to my thoughts.. oh well, fiction isn't my greatest strength...

--my new favorite number--

so, i have decided that my new favorite number is 3,

for a number of reasons:

1. it's my life number;
   

   "your life path number is 3
   

   
   
   

   your life path number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one.
   

   
   
   

   your life path will allow you to be creative and comfortable with yourself. You will approach life with a bottomless well of optimism. your imagination will inspire you to create, and in time you will come to inspire others."
   

   
   
2. i don't know, i feel a weird connection to the number. it's a lovely number, 4 away from 7, three more and you've got 6, :) it's wonderful.
3. & there are three letters in my nicknames... ril's, rie, etc. <3

late nite lulz!

haha, well hope you get a good giggle out of this <3

nite nite :) read on lovelies!

meow, halloween ♥

my pursuit of happiness.

all of which that i look for is a single soul, a person. 

as i already have my best friend, and she is a soul, and a person, but in her i see different things. i see unconditional, unchanging love, forever youthful, forever great.

i don't understand why i, someone so hidden from this particular love, is so love oriented... some people have things that make them happy, no matter how 'quick fix' it sounds, it still makes them whole, temporarily. mind altering dastardly things, these are not for me i've realized.

what i need, whether it be quick fix or not, is a lover. not looking for sex, looking for someone who makes my legs weak, someone who makes my heart beat extra fast.. looking for love, or 'something like it' is hard to do. 

every single day i wish to settle for someone, someone who likes me back, whether that 'like' can blossom, or wither... but i can't settle, for anything. not that i have standards.. but i think the only way im finding something is through direct eye contact that makes my legs weak. it's terrible.

this 5 foot 8, fifteen year old aspiring journalist, is looking for love, how extremely stupid.

like a puddle ;) - little silly things,

''ooh, like a puddle, splashed for the very first time, like a puddle, when you splash me, with your car."

falling in -something

We drove down the highway, passing tree after tree. "Do you guys want to get ice cream?" My mom had asked, before I could say anything, Lakin, my best friend who had accompanied me and my mother on our roadtrip, exclaimed "YES!" I felt the car slow and turn a corner. I got out, making sure I looked half decent.

We all entered and immediately I felt something, I looked around, seeing nothing special, continued to the ice cream counter, my mom had gone to pay for the ice cream while me and Lakin had gone over to get ice cream. While waiting, I had noticed a guy, a cashier, no longer can I correctly recall exactly what he looked like, but he had dark curly hair. I continued to notice him, off and on. Out of no where, literally no where, he had said to me, "Hey, how's it going?" and smiled, but he had me at "Hey," the moment in time when I looked into his eyes, things had felt, squishy. My vision blurred slightly, and my legs turned to mush, almost exactly how people in movies described it.

Now don't take me for some mushy head who falls for anyone, I have never believed in love at first sight, but as I said, the second our eyes met for the first time, it was like I blacked out. I don't remember replying; I don't remember leaving the store; all I remember is him. However, according to Lakin's account, I had replied and shortly left. This tiny, little few seconds of time in my life, had completely turned everything quixotic. For days and days, that moment was all I could think of, that and questions flew around in my head, questions like: "who are you?" "where are you?" "how can i find you?" etc. Not more than a couple months later, here I am, almost constantly thinking about the moment that I fell in love at first sight, and lost it just as quick..